So I know I said I would try to write a bit more over break but it just doesn't seemed to have happened for me.  But I'll try to backtrack a bit and update some:

So the semester finished okay.  It was really stressful and my GPA dropped a bit - I got good grades but my first semester freshmen year seems to have fucked me in the long run.  I'm thinking next fall I'm going to be taking some of those classes over to fix my gpa or I'll be screwed unless I get all A's for the next three semesters....haha that's doubtful.  By the end of finals week I was ready to go home, sick of my staff and dead set that EVERYBODY hated me.  Yea....they didn't do very well proving me wrong by the time we were allowed to leave that Saturday morning. 

I haven't updated anyone on the progress I've made trying to tackle my anxiety.  The counseling and health centers  had been working with me for almost a year to fix it, and at the end of the semester they told me that the complexity of my anxiety was too vast for them and treating me any longer would be a liability for the school.  So they sent me on a mission over break to get my own doctor to fix it.  (ps: i HATE the doctor!!).  I came home December 15th with my mind set on fixing myself by any means possible...prayer, meditation, some breathing, reading and a bit of relaxing.  I have been home for a bit over two weeks working constantly on establishing some peace of mind or an equilibrium in my heart that would free my mind from whatever it finds so stressful....I decided this past Thursday after three harsh days of intermittent panic attacks that I cannot live like that, scheduled a doctors appointment and actually showed up for it (I am known for not keeping appts because of my doctor anxiety).  1 hour and 15 minutes, 1 vial of blood, an expected diagnosis, and a greatly feared prescription later, my problem seems to have been identified....and I know this paragraph got you all psyched up to find out what the hell is wrong with me....but I need to be comfortable with it before I tell the entire internet....so ya'll will have to wait.  All I will say is that I hope this works....I still have 3 weeks until I have to go back to school, and after that I can't let this ruin my college life anymore...it's been hard enough convincing myself to go back after each semester but if this semester gets worse, I honestly don't want to deal with my mind and school....yea, doesn't sound too great for my education.

3 days into the new drugs....I can't tell the difference between being on them or off them...

The newly renovated house is nice...in this ordeal it's given me the chance to change my environment to whatever I need it to be at the moment.  My room is usually spotless (not tonight) and it gives me a clean palate for thinking; if I'm in the mood to craft and to let my tangled, messy mind out- my sisters room has become our messy storage room and a few minutes in there can cure the most restless mind; Christmas was small this year, but not at all disappointing.  I didn't buy much for anybody, and I didn't get much from anybody either.  Our tree was extremely fake and came up to just past my need: 10 ornaments, 100 lights, and 1 homemade star....lots of baking, my puppy and some good books I've been working  my way to the relaxing portion of my winter break goal. 

On the politics end of life, which kills me yet keeps me amazed: John Edwards passed Hilary and Obama in the Iowa caucus?!?!?  And the assassination of Benazir Bhutto was devastating and I was actually really upset when I read that on CNN Thursday morning.  I remember learning about her in the 10th grade and thinking wow, she must have really been someone to be the first female prime minister of any Islamic nation.  So much for their shot at democracy....

Love?  yea right, I can't even love myself at the moment.   Of course, it'll be another New Years resolution  but one that won't be of utmost importance to me along with a few other things....wow to think 2008 is almost here....oh jeez, I turn 21 this year lol...

Ok...I'm gonna head out, I have 10 more pages in this great book to finish, and a movie to watch I think before sleep...hope everyone enjoyed the holidays and Happy New Year!!

Productive Winter-Break - what an oxymoron. At least for me anyway.
Whoa, major props for taking care of the doctor's visits and such. Yeah, you definitely talked it up but I'm more surprised you said "ya'll." Haha, that's a rare occurrence in your writing. I hope that whatever it is, you're on your way to feeling better.
Happy New Year, ma! Feel like sharing any of those resolutions? :)